I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
