my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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