If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
