Dual....:-)
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
