Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
