addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
