I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
