I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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