I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
