someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
