Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
