Little spoons don't ask big questions
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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