remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
