why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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