I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
