and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
