I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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