Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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