I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
