well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
