Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
