That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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