just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
