Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
