My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
