ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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