i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
