Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
