this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
