Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
