do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
