Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
