Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
