so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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