I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
