I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
