One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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