this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
