I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
