how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
