I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
