hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
