True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
