why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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