There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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