Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
