please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
