did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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