Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
