please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
