I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
